She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
