I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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