clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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