dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
