Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize