I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
