I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
