you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
