the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Be still, my beating vagina.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
