u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
