She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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