I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
