where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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