i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
