I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
