Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
