WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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