Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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