I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
home. puking in laundry basket.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
