so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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