so explain again why im purple
no
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
