Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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