how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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