So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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