This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
