sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
