See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
