I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
