yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
