just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
