every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
