Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
