my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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