Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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