The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
