Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
