Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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