Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
