Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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