Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
