We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
