Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
