i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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