I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I lost the right to judge tonight
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
