And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
