Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
