doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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