Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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