I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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