That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
