i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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