my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
